9/21/17 South Miami #600!!! The Dutch Hash
As you know the Dutch have a culture based on travel, trade, and exploration. They were the same to colonize many places, the first who took Manhattan (using counterfeit money), and the first to colonize many of the recent African Colonies, especially the ones that ended up in civil wars, Apartheid, and slave trade. Most other people, like the Scandinavians, like to say that “The Dutch are first to take ze bullets, we go second to take ze money”. Staying through to that long tradition of traveling, trespassing, squandering, exploiting and slaving, our very dearest friend “just Bridget” will be haring the #600 Miami hash, and we will make that a special occasion.
Just like …the Dutch traders, we will be looking for loot, beer, and spices. Oh yes, lots of spices. Expect beer and spices!
The Flying Dutchman, a legendary ghost ship that can never make port and is doomed to sail the oceans forever. The myth is likely to have originated from the 17th-century golden age of the Dutch East India Company (VOC). The oldest extant version has been dated to the late 18th century. Sightings in the 19th and 20th centuries reported the ship to be glowing with ghostly light. If hailed by another ship, the crew of the Flying Dutchman will try to send messages to land, or to people long dead. Just like sailors of the Flying Dutchman, the hashers will be hopelessly lost in layers of shiggy made thicker by hurricane Irma, and made impenetrable by part rangers set on keeping runners out of their precious parks. Just pretend you are a pioneer and take food from the natives if you find any.
So expect lots of shiggy, not dog-friendly, not child-friendly (leave your fucking kids inside a hot vehicle, like normal people), and no cell-phone friendly. And just like the Dutch, not very friendly at all. It is not supposed to be an easy trail: It is supposed to be a shitty trail.
Bring your orange clothing. Bring your wooden shoes. Bring your fucking tulips. And definitely bring your windmills if you have any. If you have any leftover weed from your last trip to Amsterdam, that will be welcome (allegedly).
We will treat you with Dutch beer, dutch snacks, and later that night with a Dutch Oven, if you make it that far.
Point A will be the parking lot on SW 57th St at the Dante Fascell Park: 25.691173, -80.285143 on the GPS, or 8600 SW 57th Ave, South Miami, FL 33143.
Hash Cash will be an unwavering $5 (Five American Fucking Dollars).
We will provide Pre-lube beer, one beer check, one shot check, and Circle beer. So leave your freaking American beer at home. This is a fucking Dutch hash!