You can tell by the stain that she’s in a lot of pain

As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by her stance that she’s got cotton in her pants

As the end of the month rolls around
CHORUS:

So it’s Hi Ho Hee in the Kotex factory

Shout out your sizes loud and clear

Small … medium … large … super-duper… fill a barge

When the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by the smell that she isn’t feeling well

As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by the blotch that she’s got a leaky crotch

As the end of the month rolls around
Chorus
You can tell by her pout that her eggs are falling out

As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by her walk that you will get it… NOT!

As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by her pain that you’ll be beating off again

As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by the string that she’s got something up her thing

As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by the flood that she’s losing lots of blood

As the end of the month rolls around

When she’s on the rag, you can only cry and beg

As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by her walk that you’ll sit around and talk

As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by the stench that she’s a bloody wench

As the end of the month rolls around
You can tell by her eyes that there’s blood between her thighs

As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell that it itches by the way she always bitches

As the end of the month rolls around
You can bet it ain’t sweat when her underwear is wet

As the end of the month rolls around

You can tell by the stink that she isn’t in the pink

As the end of the month rolls around
If she won’t let you pump you can do it in her rump

As the end of the month rolls around

If your sex life is a loss and your cock is growing moss

As the end of the month rolls around
If you give her enough beer you can do her in the rear

As the end of the month rolls around

If you get near her with your cock, she’ll tell you to take a walk

As the end of the month rolls around

Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He’s no fuckin’ use to anyone,
He’s no fuckin’ use at all
They say he’s a joy to his mother,
But he’s a pain in the asshole to me,
So, drink it down, down, down, down
Down, down, down, down

Melody – Where Oh Where Were You Last Night (from Hee Haw)


Where, Oh where were you last week?

Why did you make us hash all alone?

You Fat Lazy Bastards, You weren’t even here.

So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the Beer.

Down, Down, Drink it all Down
You Fat Lazy Bastards, You weren’t even here.

So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the Beer.

Drink it down, down, down, down . . .

There’s a game called ‘Twenty Toes’
That’s played all over town.
The women play with ten toes up
And the men with ten toes down, down, down.

They ought to be publicly pissed on
They ought to be publicly shot (bang, bang)
They ought to be tied to a urinal
And left there to fester and rot and rot and rot
Drink it down, down, down . . .

There was a little bird
No bigger than a turd
Sitting on a telephone pole
He ruffled up his neck
He shat about a peck
He puckered up his little asshole
Asshole, asshole, asshole
He puckered up his little asshole
Drink it down, down, down…

Asshole, asshole… a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss… two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt… I’ll fight for my country
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Drink it down, down, down

(Sung to Yellow Submarine)

In the town, where I was born

Lived a man, with a PhD

And he told, us of his job

Making faulty, submarines
So we sailed, up to the north

Till we found, the Barents Sea

And we sank, beneath the waves

In our Russian, submarine
CHORUS:

We all drowned in a Russian Submarine

A Russian Submarine

A Russian Submarine

We all drowned in a Russian Submarine

A Russian Submarine

A Russian Submarine
Casualties, jump by the score

As we hit, the ocean floor

And the air, begins to fade

in our Russian, submarine
CHORUS
Radiation, makes us hot

Hypothermia, makes us not

Turning blue, and glowing green

In our Russian, submarine
CHORUS

(sung to “Funiculi, Funicula”)

Last night I stayed at home and masturbated
It felt so good, I knew it would
Last night I stayed at home and masturbated
It felt so nice, I did it twice
You should have seen me on the long strokes
Straight up and down, straight up and down
You should have seen me on the short strokes
Tickle the crown, tickle the crown
Whack it, smack it
Bounce it off the floor
Wrap it ’round the bedpost
Slam it in the door!
There are lots of people who think fucking is so great,
As for me I think I’ll stay at home and masturbate!
Drink it Down Down Down Down!

(to the tune of “No Rain” by Blind Melon : ) by Sacksquats – Wildcard H3

All I can say is that the Hash is pretty strange

We like running for BEER in sun or rain

And all we can do is just drink a beer or two

And Range and shout “RU?” but it’s not sane… it’s not sa-a-a-aane
I just want someone to say to me, ON ON ON ON

We’ll follow plops, checks and false trails…eh-yeah-eh

You know we’d like to see some boobs and dicks along the way

So stay with me and we’ll find True Trail!

And they don’t understand how we drink all day

And we run and then complain of shitty trai-ails

And all we can do is sing crude songs and name lewd names

And we laugh the night away, cuz it’s a great escape, escape, escape, escaaaape

All I can say is that this Hare is pretty strange

5 miles and no Beer Near

This wank’s insane…

He’s not sane, got no brai-ai-ai-ain!

I just want someone to say to me DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN

This trail is off the shiggy scale…eh-yeah

You know we’ll never keep our fee-eet dry today

Screw the FRBs and we’ll find find true trail!

Oh and we’ll drink some ale oooh and we’ll find true trail, oh no, no! You know we’re really gonna, really gonna drink some ale, yeahWe’re gonna find true trail….down down down down…down down down down